


Two Men And A Litter

by hazelandglasz



Series: Tumblr Glee Ficlets [38]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Cats, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Pets, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 13:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20976479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelandglasz/pseuds/hazelandglasz
Summary: Anonymous prompt on Tumblr:Can you please write the "We're neighbors who don't really talk but your cat might have gotten my cat pregnant?? We must raise this little kitty family together" AU, maybe with Kurt's cat getting Blaine's pregnant? That prompt is the most adorable thing ever and you are the perfect writer for it, please?I went a little bit overboard with it, but it was too much fun indeed!





	Two Men And A Litter

Blaine really likes his building.

It’s all bricks and exposed beams, large windows and, surprisingly enough, a functioning elevator.

There is a grocery store right around the corner which makes an exquisite coffee and donuts.

There is a park nearby whenever he wants to sit and let his mind relax and, or, indulge in some people watching.

And next door, there is a vet, which means a lot for Blaine.

He’s very fond of his very own  [ Miss Ahsoka ](https://miro.medium.com/max/3654/1*xwE9uWcDL5_foYgoiHJoWw.jpeg) , you see, so having a vet nearby puts him at ease.

The neighbors are pretty cool too--sure, there is the odd scales and arpeggios coming from one apartment, but really, Blaine should be the last one to judge.

There is a family with triplets who are simply adorable and either their parents did a sublime job of soundproofing their room, or these toddlers are quiet as a winter night.

Blaine has offered to babysat for the parents, and if he is a good judge of human characters, they are about to take him on that offer, if only to go and take a nap somewhere. They may not cry, but three babies are a lot of work.

Blaine can’t wait until his hands are full with his own babies.

But he digresses, and yet, not really.

There is one other neighbor that he meets regularly and would love to talk about babies with.

Mister K. Hummel, 21D.

The man has everything going for him, as far as Blaine is concerned: tall, slender, built like a swimmer, exquisite sense of fashion, gravity-defying hair and a laugh that Blaine would pay good money to hear more often.

Blaine is sure that Mr. K. Hummel is a cat owner, too, but he has yet to spot a feline in the building.

Why is he so sure, you ask?

Well, the bag of quality kibbles carried on Mr. Hummel’s hip was one big clue.

His behavior toward Ahsoka when they met at the mailboxes is another--only a cat owner would know how to befriend a cat that easily.

It’s either that Blaine is right, or his cat is playing matchmaker.

Speaking of romance (not that there is any romance between Blaine and one Mr. K. Hummel, they are only exchanging pleasantries and awkward elevator smiles.

For now), Blaine could knock himself out for being so stupid.

As much as he, as previously stated, likes his building, there is one minor problem with the windows. 

As in, they don’t close completely.

Oh, usually, Blaine doesn’t mind the draft--he likes the breeze, and if it gets cold, he puts his bags in front of the opening and wraps himself in a fluffy blanket--but this time, the opening allowed Ahsoka to escape, right in the middle of her heat, goddammit.

“Ahsoka, come back, darling,” Blaine calls, going up then down the fire escape. “Baby, where are y--”

One window opens on the fourth floor and he finds himself face to face with Mr. K. Hummel.

“Oh, um, hello.”

“Hi.”

There is a long pause where Blaine can’t look away from the man’s wide, clear eyes and his pink lips.

“May I help you with something, neighbor?”

Right, his runaway cat.

“My cat took advantage of the window not closing completely.”

“I see.” Unless Blaine is mistaken, there is a slight smirk pulling Mr. K. Hummel’s lips upward.

“And it is the time of her heat, I keep on planning to take her to the vet to get her spayed, but--”

The humor disappears from his neighbor’s expression. “Oh shit.”

“Precisely.”

“The cat you carried the other day  _ is  _ your cat, right?”

“Well, yes.”

“Shit, shit, shit.”

His neighbor rushes back inside his apartment, leaving Blaine quite befuddled.

“Gio, come here, let me pick up--Gio, come on sweetie … Thank you!”

Blaine cocks his head to the side, and in the distance he can see a white and brown  [ cat  ](https://blasting-silence.tumblr.com/post/188218337690/massejasse-thenatsdorf-sweet-cat-rescued-from) licking their paws.

But M. K.Hummel is back, carrying Ahsoka, who looks quite displeased with the proceedings.

“Here you go,” he says, gently putting Ahsoka in Blaine’s arms and petting her lightly between her ears before stepping back. “Let’s hope these two didn’t get into any shenanigans.”

“Oh. Oh! Because your cat is--”

“Male and 100%, yep.”

“Ah.”

His neighbor kneels down and stands carrying the cat in his arms. “Neighbor, meet Giorgio Catmani. Gio, meet …?”

“I’m Blaine. Blaine Anderson.”

“Kurt. Kurt Hummel.”

They awkwardly shake hands while their cats take advantage of their proximity to lick each other’s muzzles like some sort of feline Romeo and Juliet.

“Let’s keep them separated for a while, shall we?”

“Good idea,” Kurt replies, petting his cat without leaving Blaine out of his sight. “See you around, though?”

“Of course. See you around, Kurt.”

“See you, Blaine.”

As he goes back to his apartment, two flights of stairs upward, berating Ahsoka for being so reckless, Blaine allows his mind to stay on the fourth floor with one Kurt Hummel and his gorgeous cat.

Like owner, like cat, for sure.

“Meoooowr.”

“You can be pissed with me, missy, but I’m taking you to the vet as soon as they have an opening and we’re taking care of you, okay?”

“Rowwff.”

\---

“As soon as possible” happens three weeks later, and Blaine is increasingly worried.

Not just because, clearly, he should have taken care of Ahsoka sooner, but because of her behavior, especially in the past couple of days.

She is usually an energetic cat, prompt to play and eating parsimoniously throughout the day.

But in the past days, she has become lethargic, sleeping almost all day long, and when she’s not asleep, she … well, she vomits everywhere, meowing after Blaine and pawing at him until he cleans her up and takes her in a hug.

Highly unusual behavior, that has him biting his nails while he waits for the vet.

“Ah, Mr. Anderson, what can I do for you and Ahsoka today?”

“Well, Doc, I first took an appointment to see if we could spay her, but she … I think she’s sick.”

“Let me check that for you, hm?”

The vet picks up Ahsoka who barely hisses at her--again, not her usual vet behavior--before putting her down on the table.

“Hm, she has gained some weight recently, hasn’t she?”

“Yes, maybe, but she’s turning one in a month, it’s nothing out of the ordinary, is it?”

“Hm-hm, no, no …,” the vet replies absentmindedly, carefully rolling Ahsoka on her back.

The cat looks at Blaine with an annoyed desperation.

“Shhh, baby, just a minute,” he coos, petting her nose to keep her quiet while the vet examines her.

The vet frowns as she palps Ahsoka’s belly. “Just give me a minute, Mr. Anderson.”

Just like that, she leaves the room, leaving Blaine even more worried.

“Oh baby, what is going on,” he whispers, kneeling to get his face at the table’s level.

The vet is back with a machine that is vaguely familiar.

“Is that … an ultrasound?”

“Indeed.”

Without any other word of explanation, the vet applies one end of the machine to Ahsoka’s belly. Something appears on the screen but Blaine doesn’t understand what is shown.

Or maybe, he’ll think in retrospect, he didn’t want to understand.

“Well, Mr Anderson, I have an answer for both your questions.”

“Yes?”

“Spaying Miss Ahsoka will have to wait, and she is not sick. But you will have to be careful with her for the next, oh, two months, I think?”

“Uh?”

“Congratulations, Mr Anderson, your cat is pregnant.”

Blaine is more than shocked by this piece of information and Ahsoka’s face reflects his emotion  [ perfectly ](https://media.nbcnewyork.com/images/1200*675/cat+thumb.jpg) .

“Do you know who the father is?”

Blaine’s shock disappears to give room to his resentment. “Oh yes I do.”

\---

All Kurt wanted after this hellish day was to come home, cuddle with Gio and drown his day into a pint of Caramel Ice Cream arranged with some Bailey’s.

That’s it, that’s all he wanted.

But as soon as he drops himself in the depth of his couch, ready to get his plan on, someone vigorously knocks on his door.

And keeps on knocking.

And keeps on knocking.

“For fuck’s sake, what?” Kurt snarls, throwing the door open, only for his anger to vanish in the face of Cutie Pants--of Blaine, his name is Blaine, stop calling him Cutie Pants.

(Though those pants are really cute)

“Blaine!” he exclaims, leaning against his door in what he hopes is a seductive pose. “What have you in such a hurry? Lost your cat again?”

_ Please say yes, let’s look for your cat together, maybe she got lost in my sheets … Forget it Kurt, your life is not a soft porn movie. _

“No, I did not,” Blaine replies, and his tone shakes Kurt from his daydream. Is that …

Anger, directed at him?

“But I just learned about the consequences of her little escape.”

Kurt raises one eyebrow.

“Your bag of fleas--”

“Excuse you, Gio is flea free!”

“--is my cat’s baby daddy!”

Kurt closes his mouth, ready as he was to go into a rant about Blaine’s condescension for his cat, but that is one sentence he was not ready to hear.

Not sober, at least.

“I need a drink.”

Blaine stays on the threshold, his anger apparently leaving him deflated and tired. “May I join you?”

“Be my guest. We’re going to be raising this little cat family anyway, aren’t we?”

Blaine’s cheeks turn a lovely pink as he follows Kurt and closes the door, Ahsoka still in his arms.

The moment he comes in, Gio rushes from the couch to wrap himself around Blaine’s legs, meowing and purring like he never did for any of Kurt’s guests.

“Wow,” Kurt mutters as he takes the pint of ice cream and the Baileys back to his kitchen counter, mixing two bowls. “He never acts like that.”

“Such a smooth talker,” Blaine says softly, his voice similar to the way he called after his cat on Kurt’s windowsill not so long ago. Kurt absolutely oggles him as he bends over to put his precious cat on the floor but he is quickly distracted from that sight--and that is saying something--as the two cats greet each other as tenderly as two lovers reuniting after a war.

“Drama queen.”

“Drama king.”

Blaine and Kurt said that in perfect sync, and they are startled into a laugh.

“So, kitties.”

Blaine takes a small spoonful of “adult” ice cream and nods. “Kitties.”

“I am not ready to be a grandpa.”

“Ah, me neither.”

Kurt knows he should do something, say something, but Blaine eating his ice cream has turned his brain into mush.

See, Kurt may not have talked a lot with his neighbor, but he sees him.

He sees how Blaine stocks up on beer and Cheetos around football season.

He sees him coming back every Thursday with sweat on his brow and these sinful pair of sweatpants that mold his ass like a glove--and the subsequent boxing gloves dangling from Blaine’s bag.

He sees it all. Kurt can see how Blaine would be considered a man’s man, whether he’s gay or not.

So to see him eating so … daintily.

Kurt was not ready. God knows why he finds it impossibly alluring, as if Blaine needed any more points to sweep Kurt off his feet.

“Kurt?”

Kurt shakes himself back into a proper, neighborly behavior. “Sorry, got lost in the image of my clothes covered in kittens.”

Blaine snorts, hiding his face by looking down as he keeps on giggling into his ice cream. “I’m fairly sure this won’t turn into a 101 Dalmatians scenario.”

“Fairly sure,” Kurt replies with a chuckle, pointing his spoon at Blaine, “but you are not  _ certain _ .”

“Meow!”

They look down at their cats. Blaine’s beautiful cat is asleep on Gio’s bed, and Gio is wrapped around her, glaring at the humans for making too much noise.

Blaine gives his spoon one more kitten lick--no pun intended, Kurt’s brain is too fried to pull these on purpose--before smiling bashfully at Kurt. “I guess it’s time for us to go home. I--I’m sorry for making such an angry entrance.”

“Understandable,” Kurt says, licking his own spoons before gathering the empty bowls to drop them in his sink--and thus missing the way Blaine’s eyes slightly darken at the move-- “and forgiven. Now, of course, if you want me to participate in the vet’s fees or to let Miss, um …”

“Ahsoka.”

Kurt blinks at Blaine who bites on his lips as he blushes. “That’s an … exotic name.”

“Star Wars.”

“Ah. Perhaps I should watch it.”

Blaine’s eyes widen. “You haven’t--oooh,” he laughs, “you’re in for a treat. I have all the movies and TV series on a USB key, actually, I--” Blaine cuts himself short, the pink hue of his cheeks darkening. “I’m getting ahead of myself, is what I’m doing, I’m sorry.”

“I would love to let you introduce me to the great cinematic masterpiece that is supposed to be Star Wars,” Kurt rushes, before Blaine can scoop up his sleepy cat and fly away.

“You would?”

“I would.”

Blaine grins at him and Kurt wants to  _ taste _ that smile.

“It will be my pleasure, then. I’ll arrange our journey. At your place or at mine?”

Kurt considers it. “Switch?”

Blaine makes a strangled sound before clearing his throat. “S-switch is good. One movie at yours …”

“And one movie at yours.”

_ Until “your” become “ours” and we live happily ever after with our cat family. _

_ Now who is getting ahead of himself, Hummel? _

_ Oh shut up, a man can dream. _

_ You’re right, let’s dream. _

_ *sigh* _

“Well, you know where to find me,” Blaine concludes. “When are you free to discover this whole new world?”

_ Real-life Prince charming _ . “I’m available to pop this particular cherry tomorrow night?”

It takes Kurt far longer than should be necessary to catch up with his mouth and to understand why Blaine’s face is now matching the aforementioned fruit.

“I mean--”

“Got it!”

Kurt puts his hand over his face. “Today has been a long day and I blame it entirely on the alcohol.”

“Dangerous, Baileys is.”

“Very.”

“I shall bid you Goodnight, then,” Blaine says, curtseying with his cat cradled in his arms.

“Goodnight, Blaine.”

“See you tomorrow night, Kurt.”

Kurt does not look at Blaine walking away before closing his door and sliding until he sits on the floor, hiding his face in Gio’s fur.

Absolutely not.

He pleads the Fifth.

\---

“Ha, ha, very funny.”

Blaine can feel his face heating up, but he still laughs.

Kurt glares at him half-heartedly, gesturing to all the cherry-flavored snacks on the table. “You think you are really funny, don’t you?”

Blaine brings the jug of  [ Rosewater Manhattan ](https://www.countrycleaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/IMG_0983-560x840.jpg) he prepared and winks at Kurt. “I’m hilarious and you know it.”

“I have yet to witness this hilarity,” Kurt deadpans, but the corner of his mouth still gives a little telling uptick.

“That’s why we need to get to know each other,” Blaine replies. As he sets everything on the coffee table, Kurt sits on the couch, all prim and proper, like he doesn’t want to disturb Blaine’s decor.

“Make yourself at home,” Blaine says.

_ Please, please, do make yourself at home, let my home be your home and wow, hold your horses, Blaine. _

Kurt slightly relaxes, putting one arm over the back of the couch. Ahsoka sniffs his ankles and before Blaine can do or say anything, she jumps in Kurt’s lap, purring against his stomach.

_ Lucky kitty _ .

“She’s very friendly,” Kurt says, automatically petting Ahsoka’s thick fur. 

“Not usually that friendly, but I suppose you smell like her boyfriend.”

“Are you saying I smell like my cat?”

“I’m saying you smell like boyfriend material--oh my God, no.”

Blaine firmly clamps his mouth shut, focusing on plugging his USB key into his TV.

“Um, Blaine?”

“Can you forget the last five seconds, please?”

“If you can forget the whole cherry popping comment, which, apparently you cannot.”

Blaine cocks his head to the side to glare at Kurt. It’s very hard to glare at him when he looks, finally, so at ease on Blaine’s couch, shoes off and legs folded under him while he keeps on petting Ahsoka and sips on his drink.

Like he belongs there.

Like this is where he should have been and should always be.

_ Oh, there you are, at last. _

“Blaine, don’t worry, we apparently have a tendency to put our feet in our mouth when we are together, let’s accept it.”

“And just roll with it.”

“Exactly.”

Blaine is still on one knee in front of his TV but he looks up to Kurt and nods. “Deal.”

“So, a well-informed friend told me that there are different ways to watch the whole saga, what’s your point of view?”

Blaine goes to sit on the couch before answering. “I hesitated, but we’re going to go numerically for the most part.”

“For the most part?”

“Yeah, I’m going to slide in the animated series between movies 2 and 3.”

Kurt groans. “Really?”

“Well, if you want to meet Ahsoka’s namesake, it’s a must.”

“Fine, fine. But, what, 11 movies and an animated series?”

“Yep.”

“That is a lot of movies.”

“Yep.”

Kurt smirks as he picks up a small canapé of Brie, prosciutto and dry cherries. “Do you have an ulterior motive, Mr. Anderson?”

Blaine’s breath gets caught in his throat and then he decides to just take a leap of faith.

“We’ve been neighbors in this building for awhile, haven’t we? Adn all this time, I’ve been wondering What if. What if I invited you out for a drink. What if I dared to proposition you, even. What if I simply asked you out on a date, cat-less, granted, but still. I didn’t plan for our cats to fall in love and do the nasty, but it is--it is my chance, an opportunity, really, to spend more time with you and, um …”

Blaine finally looks up, tentatively reaching for Kurt’s hand. Kurt’s eyes are wide and he gives Blaine a short nod to encourage him to go on.

“... and to tell you that I am very bad, terrible really, at romance, with a serious case of footinthemouthitis, but I would love to get better at it. With you. For you.”

“Blaine.”

“Y-yes?”

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

“O-okaymph.”

Ahsoka really has barely a handful of seconds before jumping off the couch before Kurt’s hands are cupping Blaine’s cheeks and the two are finally kissing.

It’s deliciously awkward and not right at first, but Kurt guides Blaine into a better position, and things go from deliciously awkward to delicious, period.

“Wow.”

“Uh-huh. Come back here.”

Kurt giggles into their second kiss, pulling Blaine on top of him until they’re lying on the couch, snacks and movies forgotten.

(Sometimes afterward, between the end of The Clone Wars series and the middle of Episode III, the sentence “Oh Master Jedi, show me the way of the Force” is uttered and both will deny saying it and acting on it.

Blaine manages not to make any lightsaber jokes, and Kurt gets a Pavlovian Boner at the sound of the main theme.

They both accept it.)

\---

“That’s a lot of kittens.”

“An armada.”

“Pour Ahsoka.”

“She’s a warrior queen, that’s for sure.”

“Eleven kittens.”

“My goodness.”

“What do we do?”

“Well, the triplets are already getting three, so there’s that.”

“Eight more to go.”

“Eight?”

“Need a math refresher?”

“No, but--”

“Kurt, no. We agreed that we were not going to keep them.”

“Aww, come on, we could keep one. Two. Just two.”

“Kurt …”

“We already have two cats, they will take care of their offspring!”

“As if.”

“Blaine, please?”

“... Put those  [ eyes  ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/99/ee/b0/99eeb0761c527025113aaaa6d0f55db8.jpg) away, you’re going to hurt yourself. Fine, fine.”

“Yes!”

“--But I get to name them.”

“Eurgh. You drive a hard bargain, Anderson.”

“Still six more kittens who need a home.”

“Look at them,” Blaine says picking up one of the kittens, “they will find good homes without a problem, won’t you you adorable fluffball?”

“Blaine, can you put the kitten down please?”

“Hm?”

“Hm-hm.”

“Oh, Mr. Hummel, not in front of the bab-mph!”

(Miss Ahsoka Anderson and Mr Giorgio Catmani Hummel are proud to present the  [ two babies ](https://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzE0WDEwMjQ=/z/czsAAOSwI6Rdnffh/%24_86.JPG) they get to keep, Cat Murdock and Sabrina.

They are also delighted to announce that they are moving in together in order to take care of the kittens and of their two humans who successfully made a match.)


End file.
